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The Best Going Rogue Review You'll Ever Read

We want to believe:

There are many kinds of truth. There are truths based on facts, truths based on faith, and truths based on something that sounds as if it should be true (truthiness). Then there’s the kind of truth we find in Sarah’s book: stories and concepts that become truths simply because she states them. She’s a lot like our Lord and Savior, Glen Beck, in that respect.

Sometimes, she states truths that would be considered ludicrous if uttered by someone else. Her claim that the McCain campaign forced her to spend $150,000 in RNC funds to dress her family in designer clothes is one example of that. Although it might be easier to believe that she acted like a trailer park Zsa Zsa who’d found a credit card left behind at a possum feed, she blames McCain staffers. That’s good enough for us, because we have faith; we want to believe her truths.

But the book isn’t perfect. As much as I enjoyed the few short paragraphs in which Mrs Palin laid out her policy objectives, she could have condensed it all into one sentence: “I’m going to grab an Oxo Good Grips Stainless Serving Spatula and go all mavericky on your non-white, non-Christian and non-heterosexual butts.”

The book also fails to expose Mrs. Palin’s intellectual brilliance and keen grasp of foreign policy issues. Why wasn’t the text of her recent speech in Hong Kong included? Although it remains secret, it’s rumored that she viciously rebuked the Vietcong king for his assault on the Empire State Building. That’s a speech we’ve been waiting for nearly 75 years to hear. It’s big news and should have been included.

As you read other reviews of this book, please remember that Mrs. Palin has many enemies who are eager to pan her work. The Palin family’s most potent nemesis, Levi’s johnston, is no doubt fully erect and ready to spew globs of misfortune upon them for a third time. And reason-adoring intellectuals are certain to point out that an interview on Good Morning Topeka doesn’t qualify as a policy summit in the Far East.

But a few bad reviews won’t stop her. She’s seen much worse from her kitchen window. It can’t be pleasant to gaze upon Antichristograd every morning as you brew your coffee.

My review isn’t complete, but I think I’ll quit anyway, because writing reviews, like governing, is just too darned hard to finish.

[via PBH3]

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[via PBH3]

Doggy Drive Through Window

In the 'what-the-fack' department, a BP gas station in Florida has hired a dog to work at the store.

Seriously, this isn't a joke:

It all started one day five months ago when Mansour decided to bring his dog to work. He didn't think much of it at the time — he just wanted to have his best friend with him while he worked the sometimes slow, and occasionally, dangerous, early morning shift. The dog was given free rein of the store, and as a joke, Mansour put a shirt with a BP logo on the dog, and gave him a name tag.

"While he's here, he's an employee. My rule is, 'all employees need to wear the shirt,' " Mansour said.

[via PBH3]

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[via PBH3]

I Fucking Hate Internet Explorer 8

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Get This Damn Sweater Off Of Me!!


Originally from PBH3.